Divorce and real estate can be lonely, dirty and embarrassing. Oftentimes people do not talk about it for fear of judgment, the unknown, unsolicited opinions and it is plain hard to talk about. Fact of the matter is, it is all so common and there are ways to make the best of it.
Unfortunately, most folks know someone, are someone, or are about to be someone going through a divorce. Maybe it is a first, second or third... no matter how many, it is still the pits! It is not an easy process; it is very emotional and can make you feel very much alone. Every divorce is different, and you must allow yourself to embrace a support system right for you.
Best-case scenarios are amicable divorces with no property, no children, no pets, and no arguing involved (they DO exist!).
For all others, you may need:
#1: A support system for your personal and emotional side. Your support system can include but is not limited to friends, family (not your children), counselors, co-workers, or possibly support groups. Seek like-minded individuals that can relate to you and will listen without judgment. Those that will keep a positive mindset and build you up when you are feeling down. Don't be afraid to talk about what you are going through like so many before you have been through this; by merely opening up, you may find a world of relief and understanding that you never dreamed existed.
#2: Legal counsel (aka a Divorce attorney) to represent you and your best interest. This part can be pricey, and you need to determine your threshold of what you can financially endure when it comes down to this. Many excellent attorneys offer a free consultation so you can meet with them to determine if they are a good fit for you. They can also decide whether you are a good fit for them. *. In my opinion, a reasonable attorney can relate to you, takes the time to understand your needs (mind you, these may change as you change and grow during this process), has your best interest in mind. Their ultimate goal is the timely dissolution of marriage. The best-case scenario is that you walk away knowing you did your best, and you are now ready for the next chapter of your life. In the mediator's words from my divorce, "no one wins in a divorce, you determine what you can "live" with."
There are times that you and your soon to be ex-spouse may be able to come to agreements amicably and file on your own OR sometimes, you may require a little assistance from a mediator. As I said before, each divorce is individualized and there are so many resources out there to support you through this process.
#3: A real estate professional to manage both you and your ex-spouse's expectations. Chances are your disagreements are going to spill into your real estate deal. It would be best if you had an agent who will recognize this, except it, and do their best to work with you, your ex-spouse, and the buyers. Divorce negotiations are a lot tougher than a typical real estate deal, and you better have an agent who is experienced with divorcing couples.
It is never too soon to meet with a real estate professional, and it may benefit you to do it sooner than later to understand your options. Meeting with an agent may be something you want to do with your soon to be x-spouse or something you may want to do on your own.
I recommend that IF you have to sell, you and your x meet with one or more neutral party realtors to determine your home's value and discuss the individual steps separately for each of you going forward. Every real estate transaction is different, and you will need a customized plan of action that meets the needs of all parties involved and assures as much security as possible as you step forward into your next chapter.
In closing… You can only control how you feel and handle the situation. Make sure to take time for yourself and to do things that bring you joy. If you have children involved (of any age), keep them out of it all as much as possible. Kids love their mothers and fathers unconditionally and deserve not to have that tainted by their parent's marriage's failure. Divorce is hard, but you can make the best of a bad situation, grow as a person, and come out better on the other side. You are not alone, and you can do this!!! I did!!
If you are going through a divorce and have real estate related questions, contact me today at 727.269.2445. Together we can determine the best course of action and create a customized plan that works for you.
If you are looking for a Realtor who is client-focused, results-driven & situationally aware in all markets; contact me today.